1) Loneliness :- 1 of my biggest childhood fears came true due to some unfortunate circumstances.. This is probably the most testing period of my life..i dunno what to expect in the future...I always wondered how cool it would be to have the house to yourself..but there's a limit..i couldn't be more tired of living alone..earlier the house seemed too small..now it's way too big! Thank God for Leo(my pet dog)..a true best friend! According to a famous saying in Hindi, whenever God gives..he gives a lot! This implies to both happiness and grief! All the f***ing possible problems haunt me at this point of time!! I dunno whether the worst is yet to come or it has passed..i just hope this particular phase of life does not lead me towards more negativity.. I hope I learn some valuable lessons in life without having to read Deepak Chopra Novels!!
2)Laziness :- I was always lazy...but I think i'm crossing the line nowadays..I miss important classes..why? I have to sleep na?! I've been promising myself to start exercising but there's visibly no progress..I need to do something about this very soon..otherwise my dream of becoming a CA will remain a dream only!! Getting out of bed is incredibly difficult for me these days!! My phone's alarm is developing a complex because of it's inefficiency in waking me up!! I shall overcome!
3) Love :- I always wanted to fall in love...that is one of the good/bad effects of reading Archie comics since I was 6!! People say love is beautiful..blah blah blah..that is only applicable to the one's who are lucky enough to have the other person love them back! The other's who slog their ass out and still are unsuccessful in the quest for love definitely think otherwise. I'm sorry to say this but the word 'love' has been misused so very often nowadays that it's almost like insulting the power of the word love. One Night Stands,Casual Relationships are the in-things!! ''Move on Sagar..you have to''..Hey its no piece of cake pal! I'm not a nomad..its not easy for me to move from place to place(here person to person! ) It's been more than a year since I've been loving her from the bottom of my heart.. It's no rocket science that the sight of the one you love in someone else's arms is incredibly disheartening! My confidence level is probably somewhere near the earth's core now! It is so bloody low! Being too optimistic and having great expectations has led to this.. Moving on maybe the right option.. at least temporarily.. and it's not that I haven't tried..in the past a girl in my class had caught my eye..tall sweet simple cute..let me tell you..she's got a captivating pair of eyes!! we have a common friend and i told her whatever i felt about Lambu :) (that's what i called her) She told me that Lambu is not too keen to get into a relationship with anyone right now because of her career..I respected that..what came next wasn't expected at all! It seems that Lambu only wants a guy of a particular religion!! I thought of it as ridiculous at first but then I felt guilty at once..I mean i had no right of demeaning her values and principles..I just think it's very unfortunate that religion is one of the major barriers to love even today :/ Quite some time has passed since i came to know about her' requirements'...but even today I look at her most of the time for some unknown reason.. We exchange glances sometimes...I'm so sure that the 'common friend' teases her with me..I'm definite...I've always felt that Lambu and me have had some sort of connection..but it's been a year and we've not spoken yet!! I doubt if we ever will!! If I get the chance...tomorrow I'm going to ask the common friend if Lambu knows about my feelings towards her..I've got the intuition that she does.. I know I'm fighting a lost battle but hey..at least I'll know if she showed some interest in me or no..were the exchange of glances real or were they just a figment of my imagination?! Will this optimism land me in trouble once again and reduce my self-esteem to an all-time low or will it finally prove of some help? Only time will tell..
